Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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