i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
