i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
