Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it glows. i had to have it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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