I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
