There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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