this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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