Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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