Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
