i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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