I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
