I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize