it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
