I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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