Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Barsexuality is the new black.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
