My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
