does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
