Christians are straight up FREAKS
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
