I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
