She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
