I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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