cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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