the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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