He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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