first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
