Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
false alarm, still single
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