She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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