the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
