I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
