I think I died a long time ago.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
