Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
