Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize