Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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