Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
