if i died would you start the facebook group?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
