she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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