I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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