it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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