hell yes lets make some ravioli
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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