Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
