i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
