my mouth tastes like poor choices
operation harelip BJ is a go
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
