Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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