Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
