I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize