Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is Oprah even human
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
