I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
