the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
