hell yes lets make some ravioli
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
