I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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