Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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