Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
