I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
