Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I party with great urgency now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
