I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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