im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize