dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
