Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
