no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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