I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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