I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
