I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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