I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
