No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
