Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
