last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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