Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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