omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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