I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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