Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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